Nature, of tooth and claw is not pretty. And you survived some pretty weird birds as apartment mates. They were lister birders, alone with their lists. Listers will travel a great distance. Observe their destination bird, more interested in the trophy checkmark than the bird itself, and leave, ignoring the marvelous avifauna all about. The other birders do not keep species counts. For us, it's the quality of the interactions with birds, not the quantity. Keep on birding at your own pace. The best bird writing tells us something about both the bird and people, allowing us to relate. Write on.
I don't care if this is "off brand," it's great writing. Thanks for sharing these formative times with us. I don't call myself a birder either, because I can't obsess about one thing that much. I love watching birds, but I don't give a fuck if you call a Herring Gull or a Laughing Gull a sea gull. I'm chummy with both a former copy chief at Random House and the author of the largest dictionary of slang... we can call these birds sea gulls. Just not on our eBird checklists.
My pleasure... thank you for sharing your experience, even though it was unpleasant. We contain multitudes... I have little time for readers who expect us to be one thing.
I spent an hour observing a Belted Kingfisher and a Great Blue Heron this morning, if that doesn't make me a birder, because I say seagull, they can keep it...
Every single word in your essay matters Amanda. The issue of birding and life lists is that it has become divorced from the habitat and interactions of the ecosystem. Your experience in Alaska while you were younger is something that women doing great work still have to be guard against bad, and sometimes worse, behavior. And now writing about it seems to have been cathartic and is opening new creative thought. This essay is a contribution to humanity.
Amanda, I've been saving this to read again since you tagged me in that initial note--I wanted to give it the attention it deserves. Such amazing writing, and so honest. Thank you for writing it.
Pieces like this are about the true meaning of birds. Not whether you can tell a Yellow Warbler's song from a Chestnut-sided's, but what birds mean to you in the context of your life--how they make us think about the non-avian. Measuring life in birds, the good and bad.
"Weird. Overconfident. Lecturing. Harassing. Depressed. So sad. Crazed. Condescending. Always correct. Dumb. Alienating. Carelessly murdering. Doused with a preachy, rabid religiosity. Know the birds. Know the names. Correct people who don’t know the names. Trap birds. Kill birds. Never acknowledge you killed any birds. Keep lists. Check lists. Check on your lists more often than your people. Never apologize."
If that's the impression that birders initially left with you, "I'll never be a birder" makes sense. When I talk about gull v seagull, it's more about the fact I love the underloved gull and will die on any seemingly pro-gull hill. Not about condescending correction. I'll find any reason to defend gulls. When people call them seagulls in conversation with me, I don't sneer and answer with "but actually..." (I will admit I sometimes correct people, depending who it is--never a legitimate "that's wrong!" correction, more of a joke at birding's expense.)
Listing is birding in the way that running marathons is running. Same fundamentals, different intensity and arguably less pleasure. For some it's a nice part of a Saturday, for others it's a lifestyle. Even when I've kept lists, I never had the fervidity required.
It is more fun to bring birding knowledge to people's general impressions of birds, meet them where they're at. "All bird names are so weird," someone might say. I know a lot of bird names, so answer "yeah, like..." and list all the weirdest I can think of.
James, thank you for taking the time to read this. I know I've said it many times, but thank you for being here, as you are one of those Substack writers and photographers who changed my mind for the better. Now, I'm going to train myself; when I see a gull, I'll think about you loving the heck out of them, instead of long-ago disputes about naming conventions. I'll make a new neuropathway. Everything can be trained, right? 🙏🏼❤️🌊
Thank you, Amanda. Everything can be trained indeed!
It can be permissible to intermittently correct people for saying "seagull" if it's an act of gull evangelism, of spreading love for them. "I care so much about gulls that I will point out an inconsequential fact about them." Not when it's just self-righteous, snobby pedantry.
More essays from you of this nature are welcome. It's a privilege to discover thinkers and writers who have clear lanes they excel in, then for them to steer out of them now and then to give readers a look at the person behind the writing.
Amanda, for me this is a wonderful story showing the difference between knowing about birds and truly encountering them. You helped me feel as if I had been there too "[as] pink stain mottled my hands. Like the bear, I’d stuffed myself along the way with blueberry and salmonberry." Thank you for sharing this with us.
This was very good writing and very moving. People are complicated and I have little patience for cruelty and stupidity like this. I suppose anything that obsesses on collecting and small details attracts more than its fair share of a type.
Perhaps you should try Twitcher which is the Birtish term for birder.
My accidently entry into this is much more innocent.
That kind of writing should be published. I could see it in Outside for instance. You might connect with Wes Siler on here for an opinion, he wrote for them.
Great story. Thank you for writing and sharing it. I too had one interesting summer in Juneau,AK. I often reference it as, “I got chewed up and spit out”. Maybe I’ll write about it someday.
It’s impossible to forget the clueless, self centered people who color our past. I certainly have my share, too. What you’ve allowed yourself to do with the memories is truly a lesson in recapturing a troubling narrative and transcending it. Thanks for sharing, Amanda. You’ve allowed the owls to free you, and now you can love them without any label at all.
Wow! I think this is perhaps the best thing I have read of yours. So visceral and real and I too have encountered the very weird birders and animal lovers out there who have left their marks on me and made me shy away from whatever they were so rabid about. I totally understand why you would “never be a birder.” But it is pure magic that you have allowed yourself to be one despite those bad apples you met.
Nature, of tooth and claw is not pretty. And you survived some pretty weird birds as apartment mates. They were lister birders, alone with their lists. Listers will travel a great distance. Observe their destination bird, more interested in the trophy checkmark than the bird itself, and leave, ignoring the marvelous avifauna all about. The other birders do not keep species counts. For us, it's the quality of the interactions with birds, not the quantity. Keep on birding at your own pace. The best bird writing tells us something about both the bird and people, allowing us to relate. Write on.
well said 🙏🏼
I don't care if this is "off brand," it's great writing. Thanks for sharing these formative times with us. I don't call myself a birder either, because I can't obsess about one thing that much. I love watching birds, but I don't give a fuck if you call a Herring Gull or a Laughing Gull a sea gull. I'm chummy with both a former copy chief at Random House and the author of the largest dictionary of slang... we can call these birds sea gulls. Just not on our eBird checklists.
What a breath of fresh air to read this comment. Thank you, Timber Fox!
My pleasure... thank you for sharing your experience, even though it was unpleasant. We contain multitudes... I have little time for readers who expect us to be one thing.
I spent an hour observing a Belted Kingfisher and a Great Blue Heron this morning, if that doesn't make me a birder, because I say seagull, they can keep it...
Well said.
I love this trip you've taken us on, in all its human honesty.
Thank you for joining the ride. Safety in numbers. 🙏🏼
Every single word in your essay matters Amanda. The issue of birding and life lists is that it has become divorced from the habitat and interactions of the ecosystem. Your experience in Alaska while you were younger is something that women doing great work still have to be guard against bad, and sometimes worse, behavior. And now writing about it seems to have been cathartic and is opening new creative thought. This essay is a contribution to humanity.
Thank you so much, Terry. Your comment means a lot. Thank you.
I do love your "normal" articles. But this is my favorite thing of yours I've ever read!
Gosh. Thank you. I just didn't know people would react this way.
Nice memoir. My favorite part was “All this time, those owls I’d met in the woods were also forgotten. Who forgets a visit from angels?”
Indeed, who does? Probably all of us at some time or another. Congratulations on your “recollection” — and happy birding!
Thank you, Thomas 🙏🏼
Thank you, Amanda. I’m glad both you and the owl have been set free.
Thank you, Mike. Now, let's see where we fly together. 🦉
"I COULD BE A BIRDER."
Yes 💚
🦉
Amanda, I've been saving this to read again since you tagged me in that initial note--I wanted to give it the attention it deserves. Such amazing writing, and so honest. Thank you for writing it.
Pieces like this are about the true meaning of birds. Not whether you can tell a Yellow Warbler's song from a Chestnut-sided's, but what birds mean to you in the context of your life--how they make us think about the non-avian. Measuring life in birds, the good and bad.
"Weird. Overconfident. Lecturing. Harassing. Depressed. So sad. Crazed. Condescending. Always correct. Dumb. Alienating. Carelessly murdering. Doused with a preachy, rabid religiosity. Know the birds. Know the names. Correct people who don’t know the names. Trap birds. Kill birds. Never acknowledge you killed any birds. Keep lists. Check lists. Check on your lists more often than your people. Never apologize."
If that's the impression that birders initially left with you, "I'll never be a birder" makes sense. When I talk about gull v seagull, it's more about the fact I love the underloved gull and will die on any seemingly pro-gull hill. Not about condescending correction. I'll find any reason to defend gulls. When people call them seagulls in conversation with me, I don't sneer and answer with "but actually..." (I will admit I sometimes correct people, depending who it is--never a legitimate "that's wrong!" correction, more of a joke at birding's expense.)
Listing is birding in the way that running marathons is running. Same fundamentals, different intensity and arguably less pleasure. For some it's a nice part of a Saturday, for others it's a lifestyle. Even when I've kept lists, I never had the fervidity required.
It is more fun to bring birding knowledge to people's general impressions of birds, meet them where they're at. "All bird names are so weird," someone might say. I know a lot of bird names, so answer "yeah, like..." and list all the weirdest I can think of.
Thank you again for writing and sharing this.
James, thank you for taking the time to read this. I know I've said it many times, but thank you for being here, as you are one of those Substack writers and photographers who changed my mind for the better. Now, I'm going to train myself; when I see a gull, I'll think about you loving the heck out of them, instead of long-ago disputes about naming conventions. I'll make a new neuropathway. Everything can be trained, right? 🙏🏼❤️🌊
Thank you, Amanda. Everything can be trained indeed!
It can be permissible to intermittently correct people for saying "seagull" if it's an act of gull evangelism, of spreading love for them. "I care so much about gulls that I will point out an inconsequential fact about them." Not when it's just self-righteous, snobby pedantry.
More essays from you of this nature are welcome. It's a privilege to discover thinkers and writers who have clear lanes they excel in, then for them to steer out of them now and then to give readers a look at the person behind the writing.
The parameters here are quite wide, I'm finding.
Amanda, for me this is a wonderful story showing the difference between knowing about birds and truly encountering them. You helped me feel as if I had been there too "[as] pink stain mottled my hands. Like the bear, I’d stuffed myself along the way with blueberry and salmonberry." Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you, John. I'm so glad you could be there too.
This was very good writing and very moving. People are complicated and I have little patience for cruelty and stupidity like this. I suppose anything that obsesses on collecting and small details attracts more than its fair share of a type.
Perhaps you should try Twitcher which is the Birtish term for birder.
My accidently entry into this is much more innocent.
Thank you, Doug. Thank you.
Twitcher is an interesting term!
That kind of writing should be published. I could see it in Outside for instance. You might connect with Wes Siler on here for an opinion, he wrote for them.
Thank you for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Great story. Thank you for writing and sharing it. I too had one interesting summer in Juneau,AK. I often reference it as, “I got chewed up and spit out”. Maybe I’ll write about it someday.
“I got chewed up and spit out”
Exactly
Writing truly might help.
It’s impossible to forget the clueless, self centered people who color our past. I certainly have my share, too. What you’ve allowed yourself to do with the memories is truly a lesson in recapturing a troubling narrative and transcending it. Thanks for sharing, Amanda. You’ve allowed the owls to free you, and now you can love them without any label at all.
Yes! Labels are truly some of the most troublesome things.
https://youtu.be/zl-wAqplQAo?si=NIExw44aWRDLK1yV
I was in the middle of watching this when your comment came through. I certainly won't ever be a a Lister. Cray cray ...
Wow! I think this is perhaps the best thing I have read of yours. So visceral and real and I too have encountered the very weird birders and animal lovers out there who have left their marks on me and made me shy away from whatever they were so rabid about. I totally understand why you would “never be a birder.” But it is pure magic that you have allowed yourself to be one despite those bad apples you met.
It's so validating to read this. Thank you, Amanda 🙏🏼
Strong post, well written. On to more amazing birds!
Yes, onward! Thank you!